I remember staying awake until way past midnight the day my study abroad application was due. I had been chosen to study at the University of Stirling in Scotland and I had until 3PM that day to hand in my application. I had work in the morning, I hadn’t handed my application in, and I hadn’t told my family. For all they knew, I hadn’t gotten in this year and would simply just re-apply the following year. I was so stressed, so worried that I was passing up an opportunity to see the world. So homesick at the thought of leaving my boyfriend of 4 years back home. Our relationship had been suffering for way too long and I felt that if I left, we would crumble.
My mum woke me up in the morning before work, as she had gotten my text from the night prior and was checking up on me. I broke down and told her everything. That day, while I went to work a little shaken up, she took my application package and drove straight to Burnaby mountain.
Fast forward 4 months, I was saying my goodbye’s at the airport to my family. It was tough at first. I spent the greater part of 3 months staying cooped up in my room. Of course I loved my roommates and enjoyed my time with them, but out of respect for my boyfriend I didn’t party or drink or go out much at all. I was living abroad, in a beautiful dorm, with beautiful people, holding myself back from beautiful experiences.
I look back on it now and I have no one to blame but myself. I realize now that I was too young to be held down by someone miles and miles and miles away from me. Someone I didn’t love anymore. Someone who hadn’t loved me for a long time.
Though breaking up is difficult and long-distance is tough, the good love will wait. If it had been meant to be, well, we would still… be.
And let me tell you. Those last 3 months single? Oh boy those last 3 months were amazing.